She opened her eyes on the morning sunlight just to realize she has to wake up to get ready for work. Submitting to this fact she woke up, sat on her bed, looked outside the near by window, to find the sky exceptionally beautiful this morning.It was all bluish mixed with thick lines of orange and yellow like it has been painted by an extraordinary artist.
"it's beautiful" she thought, Yet suddenly all the great feelings she was having reflecting on the beautiful colored sky started to fade away with a familiar set of feelings invading her..the feelings she has everyday, at the same time, at the same place.
Trying to break everyday's routine she took out a pen and a paper from the
desk beside her bed & started writing..
"How long do i have to wait , do i have to suffer,
Do i have to endure all this pain?
This pain in my chest burning...burning so deeply
inside that i feel it in every vein, in every vessel
Flowing through me like blood
The pain of rejection, of humiliation, of neediness..
For how much long do i have to bear it?
I tried..
very hardly i tried..
so honestly and deeply i tried..
Reminding myself of patience..but why does patience have to hurt so badly?
why does it have to be this hard?
I feel i'm like an old rusty mop, one more careless attempt and
it dwells across the floor in pieces..
Trying hardly not to fall apart, not to loose faith i have one
remaining dream..My soul flying freely to it's eternal destination
where no one & nothing could hurt me by any means.. where i would
be finally happy and in peace..where i would be eternally..FREE."
Ending her words she teared the paper into pieces, laid down in her bed
closing her eyes wishing she could sleep forever..
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
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